The JTHM Talk Show! Very Pointless!
by Moonchild10
Summary: *** Comical nonsense! Q's and A's about characters, and humor! Learn about da people in JTHM & IFS! Episode 7 up now!
1. Episode 1!

Any questions for the characters you want answered can be sent to me in the form of reviews, or e-mail if you are lucky enough to possess my e-mail address!  
  
Disclaimer: I own none of Jhonen's work, you squirrel tree monkey!! Sewer pipes bring joy! Here we go:  
  
The JTHM show, brought to you by Moonchild Is An Idiot Productions!!!!!:  
Moonchild (me): Good evening, and welcome to the JTHM show! And now, hosting the first portion will be our very own, Tenna!  
  
Tenna: Hi people! Spooky says hi too!  
  
Mysterious voice in background!: Oh god no, not Spooky, Tenna! No! Just kill him!  
  
Tenna: shut up Devi, you hermit! And now, we're bringing in a few characters! Nny, you all know him and hate him, his infamous creation Happy Noodle Boy, and my bestestfriend, Devi! (clappynes)  
  
Happy Noodle Boy: Hello New York (they're in Orlando, what an idiot! But we all love HNB!)! Smell my glorious sponge cake it is shoved into my pants! If Rice Crispies contained dynamite, they would say Snap, Crackle, and then you'd never hear the last because you'd blow up! Meow! Mother many I tie three strings!  
  
Devi: Oh god. Just..just shut up.  
  
Nny: (glances wildly around, wordlessly)  
  
Tenna: sooooooooo.....Johnny, what's it like killing people all the time?  
  
Nny: wanna find out first hand? I can kill somebody if you like. (menacingly)  
  
Tenna: no....no thanks dude. Um, so Devi, I heard you took up a job working for NERVE publishing. What's it like?  
  
Devi: it sucks, Tenna. It really, really sucks.  
  
Tenna: it's not even a LITTLE bit fun? Huh? Not even a teensy bit?  
  
Devi: No. It's hell.  
  
Tenna: OOOOOOO.......KKKKKKKK. So, Happy Noodle Boy, what's your job of yelling at people all day like?  
  
HNB: I demand nugat.  
  
Tenna: Um, well, that's nice, Mr. Noodle. But, how does it make you feel to spread such joy and knowledge?  
  
HNB: FEEL the power of my ankles! Worship them in all their onioney wonder!  
  
Tenna: um.....That's......nice. OK, it's time to answer questions from all your fans. Here's one for Johnny. Nny, where did you get your boots? They're so cool!  
  
Nny: Look for them, butt holes! Such great things are not to be told!  
  
Tenna: OK then. Here's one for Devi. Devi, what's up with your hair? I mean, your pigtails are really long, but when you take them out, your hair is shorter.  
  
Devi: I don't know. Ask Jhonen Vasquez for hell's sake!  
  
Tenna: OK then. Now, let's bring in some more characters, Dillan, Tess, and Eddie.  
  
Moonchild: I thought Eddie died in that car wreck! And Dillan died when the monster came out of the wall! And so did Tess.  
  
Tenna:...........  
  
Nny: she's right, idiot!  
  
Tenna: Well, they're not dead, OK!? I'm not responsible for this piece of shit called a talk show! Now, let's just get on with it!  
  
Nny: wait! He's the one who laughed at me in the theater! (glaring at Dillan) Feel my wrath, shithole!  
  
Tenna: Now Nny, let's not...hey....put the knife away.  
  
Nny: (advancing on Dillan) If you'd like to shut your eyes, it makes death so much more pleasant.  
  
Dillan: You're...you're insane! (recoiling from Nny)  
  
Devi: Duh! What do you think he is, you asshole!?  
  
Tenna: People! No more fighting! Stop!  
  
(Nny's knife has disappeared, special effects magic, and he and Dillan are in a fist fight. Dillan's nose is bleeding)  
  
Devi: Just knock it off! This fucking show is already shitty enough! Moonchild is such an idiot!  
  
Moonchild: Hey, who's paying you for this?  
  
Devi: Oh. Right. Never thought of that. Sorry.  
  
Tenna: (frantically) OK, that's tonight's show, folks! Now, join us tomorrow night! Same time, same place. Hey! Knock it off!  
That's episode one. If you have questions for any of the characters, please send them in the form of reviews. Thank you! Please don't flame TOO bad! I'm tired. 


	2. Episode 2!

Diclaimey: I own none of JTHM thingy stuffs.  
  
OK, get ready for episode #2! This time, your host will be.....ME! YAY! Tenna wanted to be IN the show, so now I'll host for a while. Here we go!  
  
Moonchild: Good evening folks! Here we are with JTHM talk show, episode two! And here are our last time's guests, Nny, Devi, Dillon, Tess, and Happy Noodle Boy! Oh yeah, and that horny bastard Eddie. And we're bringing in some new guests from the comics, Squee (by popular demand), his demon teddy bear Shmee, and our former host, Tenna! (clappyness)  
  
Nny: hi people.  
  
Moonchild: How come you're so happy, Nny?  
  
Nny: One of my rare good moods. Please don't spoil it.  
  
Moonchild: OK then. Everybody try & get along this time. Ok, come in the rest of you.  
  
Tenna: Why'd Johnny get to come in first?  
  
Moonchild: 'cause it's his comic.  
  
Tenna: Well, Devi has a comic too.  
  
Moonchild: Tenna, please!  
  
Tenna: Ok then. Sorry.  
  
Moonchild: Now, after being so rudely interrupted, where were we?  
  
Devi: ummmm..  
  
HNB: Smell the enchanted grass clippings! They shall bring you eternal life, and a reason to piss standing up!  
  
Nny: Grass clippings?  
  
Moonchild: well...yes. OK, now I want to welcome you all to episode two of the JTHM talk show!  
  
Eddie: I...uh...butt.  
  
Devi: oh no not you again! And is it not unsafe that I'm in the same room as Nny with no guards!?  
  
Nny: I-  
  
Squee: Shmee says Johnny's a bad man.  
  
Dillon: he's a prick.  
  
Nny: watch it!  
  
Moonchild: Calm down. OK, now it's time to answer some questions from our viewers! I shall choose a few from this vat of reviews! (pulls one out) Ok, here's one that I'd call a joint question. Nny and Happy Noodle Boy, why is HNB called happy when he's always making people cry and kill him and stuff, and also, I'd like to add, scowling?  
  
HNB: I see the fresh new coat of cheese, hidden in the igloo of the great sausage prince!  
  
Moonchild (MC): Okaaaaaaaaay. Nny, can you answer the question for us?  
  
Nny: He's called Happy Noodle Boy because....because.....because Sad Noodle Boy doesn't have that nice little ring to it. That's why.  
  
MC: Thanks. OK, now another question. (pulls out another) This one's for Squee. Squee, if you always disagree with Shmee, why do you keep him around?  
  
Squee: 'Cause he's really the only person who doesn't pretend I'm not alive, 'cept for the scary neighbor man.  
  
MC: well, that's sad Squee. Thanks for enlightening us on one more mystery. I mean..Todd. Which would you prefer?  
  
Squee: Um, I don't care.  
  
MC: Kay. Now, another question for Nny, what exactly was *it* behind your wall?  
  
Nny: I'm not sure. I was dead at the time it came out.  
  
MC: True. Tess, would you answer that?  
  
Tess: I guess so. It was a huge bunch of tentacles and arms and legs and (shudder) just huge freaky stuff in general. Some sort of monster. It did kill that one asshole guy though, so I'm glad.  
  
Dillon: Asshole guy?  
  
Tess: You know he....oh, right, you died before he started being an asshole.  
  
Dillon: ................  
  
MC: Ok, thanks. Another truth has been unveiled. Thanks for all your help.  
  
Nny: No problem.  
  
Tess; um, whatever.  
MC: OK then. OK, here's some viewer comments. (pulls out several slips of paper out). OK, Devi, you're a bitch. Nny said he was sorry, but did you listen? No!  
  
Devi: Hey, wait just a second! I'm a bitch now, because I was mad at a guy who tried to murder me for no fuckin' reason?  
  
Tenna: That's what it sounds like, Dev.  
  
Devi: He fuckin tried to kill me!  
  
MC: Well, viewers are perfectly allowed to call you a bitch.  
  
Devi: yeah, but still-  
  
Tenna: he DID apologize to you.  
  
Tess: Yeah.  
  
Devi: How would you know?  
  
Tess: I read the seventh comic.  
  
Devi: Wadamminit! You mean the comics actually have stuff that really happened in them?  
  
Tess: yeah.  
  
Devi: Oh shit. But still, I can be mad at him if I wanna.  
  
Nny: I said I was sorry.  
  
Devi: SO what?  
  
Nny: and you're still mad?  
  
Devi: Yes!  
  
Nny: I'm sorry. I already said that!  
  
Devi: Ok! Fine, Nny! I forgive you! Happy?  
  
Nny: Yes. So does that mean you'll give me another chance?  
  
Devi: What do YOU think?  
  
Nny: Um...yes?  
  
Devi: Arg! We'll see about that Nny. Maybe.  
  
MC: Isn't that nice. OK, another comment. It's that Nny was a little pissy last episode. Nny, why were you so pissy?  
  
Nny: I was in a bad mood! People can be in bad moods if they wanna! I'm a fucking homicidal maniac for heaven's sake!  
  
MC: Ok. Don't gotta get so defensive. Well, we're almost done for today folks.  
  
Tenna: Aww! Already?  
  
MC: yes. Unfortunately folks, it's almost time to go. But a few more questions first. OK here's one from.Tenna? But don't you already know about stuff?  
  
Tenna: Noppers.  
  
MC: Ooooookaaaaaaaay. Devi, what was up with you and Nny. Did you like him?  
  
Devi: Tenna!  
  
Tenna: Tee hee!  
  
MC: well?  
  
Devi:.......yes I did!  
  
MC: But not anymore?  
  
Devi: he tried to slay me! What do you fucking think?  
  
MC: oh. That'd be a no, right? Now, I guess it's time for us to go. 'Till next episode (#3)!  
  
Tenna: Bye bye! Aww darny, I didn't even get any questions, and neither did Spooky!  
  
MC: Well, too bad! Viewers, send any q's for our characters here in the form of reviews or if you have my address, e-mails. See ya back here, same time, same place! Goodnight world!  
  
~Moonchild  
  
Check out episode three as soon as I can write it! Sorry I didn't answer all of your questions. I'll answer more next eppy! 


	3. Episode 3!

Disclaimer: I own no characters in here!  
  
For this chapter, no offense to any Britney Spears fans out there.  
  
*/*/*  
  
*pretty lights flash, Moonchild walks out on stage, to the booing of all the audience*  
  
Moonchild (MC): Good evening ladies and spleen babies! Welcome to episode three! Sorry for the long absence, folks! I was trapped by Nny under a large statue of a marble elephant. And now please welcome our guests for the show tonight! Johnny C., Devi D., Todd Casil, Tess R., Dillon something or other, Eddie what's his face, Shmee the demon teddy bear, Happy Noodle Boy, Tenna..whatever it is, and Spooky!  
  
*guests walk onto set. Nny runs into painted elf infested tree made of cardboard. It falls on him.*  
  
Nny: oof! Ouch! Help!  
  
*Devi and Squee lift the tree off of Nny and throw it offstage*  
  
Devi: still running into trees, Johnnypoo?  
  
*Nny flinches at the nickname*  
  
Squee: You OK, Mr. Scary neighbor man?  
  
Nny: *smiles* Yes Squee. Thanks.  
  
Squee: *squee*  
  
Devi: *says nothing*  
  
MC: OK, now, if Devi, Nny, and Todd would sit down, we could begin.  
  
Nny: sorry.  
  
*they take their seats*  
  
MC: OK, now, let's start with some questions! Here's one for Nny. It's a request: 'Nny, could you do me a favor and kill that bitch Britney Spears for me?'  
  
Nny: *smiles* Why yes, yes I think I will.  
  
Tess: Yes, do us all a favor.  
  
*Britney Spears waltzes onto stage*  
  
BS (coincidence in the initials, no?): hello there.  
  
Devi: AH! KILL HER!  
  
Nny: *grabs knives* GARG!  
  
BS: Hey! What are you doing?  
  
*audience throws rotten veggies at Britney.*  
  
BS: Hey! Stop!  
  
Nny: Die, evil bitch!! *stabs her neck. She bleeds, sliding to the stage in pain*  
  
Dillon: Mwa ha ha ha ha!  
  
Nny: :D  
  
Devi: :D  
  
Squee: squee!  
  
Tess: :D  
  
Tenna: :D  
  
MC: :D  
  
BS: *twitch twitch twitch*  
  
MC: thank you very much Nny! Now, the next question is for Tenna! Tenna: where did you get Spooky, and how long have you known Devi for? (somehow I feel like I have asked this before. Let me know if I did, please?)  
  
Tenna: I got Spooky for Christmas from Devi when we first met. I've known her for six years now! Spooky is six! Yay!  
  
Devi: oh, and how I regret giving you that thing!  
  
MC: Thanks. Now, another question. This is for Spooky. Spooky: Squeak squeakity SQUEAK squeak squeak squeak?  
  
Tenna: C'mon Spooky! Answer the nice lady!  
  
Spooky: Squeak..squeak squeak squeak squeak...squeakily squeak..squeakness.  
  
MC: Thank you for your enlightenment Spooky. And now, a question for Happy Noodle Boy. HNB: What would become of Mr. Cow if toenails destroyed the little rabid pork demon who needed his pens back?  
  
HNB: Black blacka choo-choo bean! I wanna make kool-aid smoosh dadda with the weasel socks of my purple pencil case! Wheenlea! Spank the monkey, knot roll face plant in the sausage balls of doomyness!  
  
Nny: o_O  
  
MC: O...K...Now, it's time to ask about current events. Anybody got any? Nny?  
  
Nny: erm..uh...  
  
MC: Tess?  
  
Tess: Dillon broke his ass on the cement.  
  
Dillon: Hey!  
  
MC: Fascinating. Devi?  
  
Devi: Mur...uh..heh?  
  
MC: How about Tenna? *noticing that Tenna is jumping up and down*  
  
Tenna: Ooh! Ooh! Devi forgave Nny!  
  
MC: She did?  
  
Tenna: Yeah! And last night they went on a DATE!  
  
Devi: *blushing and incoherent grumbling under her breath*  
  
MC: Oh really? How do you know this? Do tell about this phenomenon!  
  
Tenna: I was going to get egg rolls. They were at the Eat or Die, and they was smoochin'. Hee.  
  
Nny: *blush* murfle mumph...* grumbling*  
  
MC: Reeeeeeally? So you chose to forgive Nny?  
  
Devi:...........................YES! OK? I forgave him! So what if I kissed him? Is that really something to gawk at?  
  
Tenna: Yes  
  
Devi: *glare*  
  
MC: that's great Tenna, great news to bring us. *looks at watch* Shit! We're almost out of time!!!! I knew I should have paid for extra time!!!!!!!  
  
Tenna: already?  
  
MC: yes  
  
Eddie: *groggily* can I touch yo' ass?  
  
MC: *looks disgusted, slaps his face*  
  
Dev: ^_^  
  
Nny: hey, people, look at Dillon! What the fuck is he doing?  
  
Dillon: Pretty fishy, walking down the street, pretty fishy, kind I like to eat, pretty fishy, nice and tender meat..  
  
Devi: what the fuck?  
  
Tess: I always knew there was something wrong with him.. *in awe*  
  
MC: *pulls out tranqualizer gun*  
  
BLAM.  
  
Dillon: *falls to ground, groggy*  
  
MC: Damn, that worked fast! Well, goodnight guys! And stay tuned for more soon! And a big thanks to Kitty-N with her fabulous show 'Devi D. Coast To Coast' for reminding me that I had a show too! If it weren't for her, I never would have remembered! Thanks Kitty if you're here! Goodnight guys! *blows kisses*  
  
Nny: yeah yeah, goodnight people. *beats off several over-enthusiastic fangirls and runs off stage to avoid more, follwed closely by Devi and HNB.  
  
*/*/*  
  
Z?  
  
Nother eppy soon! 


	4. Episode 4!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
You know what? I want to have a theme song for this. But that would mean I'd have to write it. I mean, shows have theme songs, right? And this show isn't ending any time soon, because it's just too much fun! I love having a show where I control what happens, and it's all according to me! I never have this kind of control in real life, hee hee. Remember to review with questions, comments, and anything else. Also, there are a few new parts coming to the show soon, which I will enlighten you on in this episode. Now then, let's roll!  
  
*/*/*  
  
Moonchild (MC) walks onto set, a large bloodstain on the front of her light blue tshirt*  
  
MC: NNY! *growls*  
  
Nny: *hiding behind some plastic background of NYC* yyess?  
  
MC: You got that cheerleader's blood on my shirt, dammit! Oh never mind. Now, let's get on with the show. God evening everyone and welcome to episode four of the JTHM Talk Show! And here are our usual guests..they're getting to be more like just the crew, huh? And no, I'm not gonna go through their names again!!!  
  
*usual guys and gals walk onto set. Dillon trips over lighting cord and takes Squee (or Todd) down with him. Nny looks over, fury in his eyes.*  
  
Nny: Don't you DARE harm Squeegee!!  
  
Dillon: Easy man!  
  
Nny: *pulls out two knives and advances on Dillon* You must die!  
  
Devi: *crosses arms* Nny *in a warning tone*  
  
Nny: *looks at her* What?  
  
Devi: *annoyed* Hmmm?  
  
Nny: *confused for a moment* What? Oh yeah. I promised, didn't I?  
  
Devi: Yes.  
  
Nny: *puts his knives away* You got lucky this time, asshole. *to Dillon*  
  
Dev: that's better.  
  
Nny: *grumbles at Dillon about how he's unfit to burden the planet with his humanistic shit as they pass him to sit in their usual seats*  
  
MC: Ok, now that we're all here, some beginning announcements! There will be some changes to the show, thanks to the requests of our cast members!  
  
Tenna: Yes! Finally! Did you take MY suggestion?  
  
MC: Just listen, OK guys!? Now, two people are getting their own little portion of the show. The first is..da da da..Nny!  
  
Nny: *surprised* Me?  
  
MC: Yes! You! It's called 'Killing Time With Johnny C.'  
  
Nny: Really now?  
  
MC: Yes. See, what happens is the audience (that means you, reviewers) requests someone for Nny to kill, and every show Nny kills one of the most frequently voted for! Kind of like a twisted version of Survivor, huh? But the rules are: it cannot be one of the show crew, and you can't vote for Nny to commit suicide. Sounds fun, huh?  
  
Nny: *devilish look*  
  
Devi: Hey wait! Nny promised me he wouldn't kill anyone!  
  
MC: Oh come on Devi! It's just for his show! And if people vote for someone to die, they must be bad people!  
  
Nny: yeah Devi. Come on. I won't kill anyone except for the show.  
  
Devi: well....  
  
Nny: *using guilt trip puppy dog eyes* For me?  
  
Devi: *rolling her eyes* OK fine. You know I can't resist that.  
  
Nny: *grinning*  
  
MC: So, Killing Time With Johnny C. is on! Now, the next show is a new version of the old favorite.. 'Spending Time With Happy Noodle Boy'!!!  
  
Devi: Noodle boy has a show segment?  
  
MC: Well..yes that's what it says here.  
  
Nny: THAT should be memorable.  
  
MC: *looks disturbed* OK. Now, moving on, we've got some audience questions. The first is one for Tenna. I think she already answered this, but where did you get Spooky?  
  
Tenna: from Devi on Christmas, the first year we met.  
  
MC: Neat. Now, the next is for Spooky. Spooky, do you like being Tenna's doll?  
  
Spooky: Squeak squeak squeak, squeak squeak squeak squeak. (translation: yes, it's fun)  
  
MC: It's good you have fun Spooky. And now here's one for Devi. Devi, why won't you give Nny another chance? Do something nice for everybody. Please (I said maybe is not a valid answer).  
  
Devi: I AM giving him another chance. Look, see, I'm sitting next to him and not screaming. See? *kisses Nny's cheek*  
  
Nny: *twitches a bit* Yup, she is *little grin*  
  
Tenna: And look how happy ya are!  
  
Devi: *blushes and mumbles something*  
  
MC: OK then. That's so adorable. Now, a question for Nny. Nny, what do you think draws out these maternal (ish) feelings for Squee?  
  
Nny: Well, I'd say the feelings are a bit more paternal if truth to be told. But anyway, his own father is.needless to say..a booze worshipping bum, and he teaches Squeegee nothing of the ways of the world. He isn't really acting out the part of a father to him, and I feel somewhat responsible for him, seeing this happen.  
  
MC: That is SO sweet. Now, a question for Squee. Someone wants to know if they can be your friend.  
  
Squee: yes. I like friends *smiles nervously, clutching Shmee*  
  
MC: That's great. Squeegee has a friend. Now here's one for Shmee. Shmee, why do you tell Squee to burn his house down?  
  
Shmee:...  
  
MC: *Picks Shmee up* Oh REALLY? Huh? So you think you can get away with that? Little FUCK!!!!! Damn bear!!! Die! *hurls Shmee offstage* Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!  
  
Squee: squee!  
  
MC: Oh, sorry. *retrieves Shmee* He said because Squee's plausible young mind is enjoyable to twist around. Evil shit..OK sorry. NOW, a question for Dillon and Tess. What's it like to die?  
  
Dillon: Uhhhh...it hurts...bad..ouch  
  
Tess: I don't know if you can call what happened to me dying, but it sort of felt like my face was melting off.  
  
Nny: It's not pleasant at all. It IS quite painful.  
  
Dillon: Did anyone ask YOU?  
  
Nny: *bristles* WHAT?  
  
Devi: *warningly* NNY!  
  
Nny: *sits down*  
  
MC: OK, now, our last question is for Eddie. Eddie, what are you thinking?  
  
Nny: *under his breath* this should be interesting.  
  
Eddie: *looking at Devi* Can I touch your butt?  
  
Devi: *looks disgusted* get him away from me!  
  
Eddie: *moves toward her*  
  
Devi: aggggggg...  
  
Nny: *kicks Eddie in the face* Get away from Devi!  
  
Eddie: *Flies backwards into the audience.*  
  
Devi: Thanks Nny.  
  
Nny: *looks at his feet and mumbles something*  
  
MC: OK, now, it's about time to go. BUT before we do, I'd like to add a few more announcements. The snack machine by the backstage entrance has been fixed!  
  
Tenna: YAY!  
  
MC: Yeah, and now it's almost time to go. But I also add that I'd like to thank my reviewers and tell them to keep the questions coming for the next episode. And don't forget to vote for someone to die for 'Killing Time With Johnny C.' OK? OK. And don't forget to request guests to come onto the show! Yay! And did you notice that in the Good Charlotte video 'Boy and Girls', a Squee shirt is being worn? YAY! Go Squee!  
  
Nny: Night everybody!  
  
MC: BYE BYE!!!!  
  
*screen fades out on the crew chatting casually, while a fried chicken runs by in the background* 


	5. Episode 5!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
This episode will be nonsense, since I have little to work with right now. */*/*  
  
*fade in, the set. Nny is sitting in a chair by himself on the set, twiddling his thumbs. There is a long silence, in which Nny sings the Frosted Flakes( jingle under his breath. Then the rest of the cast shows up and thinking that the show has not yet started, start doing stupid things.*  
  
MC: *to audience* Shhhhh(.don't tell them we've started.  
  
Nny: Rubber ducky, you're the one. You make bath time lots of fun(..  
  
Tenna: *dancing a jig in the middle of the stage* Wooo! Go Spooky! *Spooky is break dancing*  
  
Devi: *waltzing with a mop*  
  
Nny: *singing* Total slaughter, total slaughter. I won't leave(.a single man alive..  
  
*Devi joins in*  
  
Devi and Nny: *bothing singing*... ladi dadi dide, genocide. Ladi dadi dud, an ocean of blood..  
  
Devi: *trips on the mop she is still waltzing with and stops singing as she falls.*  
  
Nny: *singing* .let's begin..the killing time. *finishes grandly and bows low*  
  
Devi: *untangles herself from the mop and sits up*  
  
MC: Smiles people! You're on camera!  
  
Tenna: wuh?  
  
Nny: No. The camera's...  
  
Devi: On. *finishes for him*  
  
Nny: Fuck. *sits back down*  
  
MC: Ha ha ha! Little rude awakening for ya! It's been on the entire time!  
  
Devi: Shit.  
  
MC: Yeah. Now, let's get started on episode five of the JTHM talk show.  
  
Tenna: Hey, how come it's JTHM? I'm not from JTHM.  
  
MC: Well...because Nny's from JTHM, and everybody loves Nny. Now stop asking questions Tenna. Now, let's start out with a show segment, 'Killing Time With Johnny C.'  
  
*Fade in to a different set. Nny is sitting at a desk with 'Killing Time With Johnny C.' painted on the front. He is smiling a very forced smile at the camera*  
  
Nny: Hello, and welcome to Killing Time With Johnny C. And now, let's begin. I have a request from a reviewer to kill..Tenna? Hey Devi!  
  
Devi: *off camera* What? *walks onto set*  
  
Nny: I thought it was supposed to be against the rules for me to kill show members for my show segment.  
  
Devi: Yeah. That's against the rules. Why?  
  
Nny: It says I kill Tenna.  
  
Devi: WHAT?  
  
Nny: I know. But I gotta kill somebody for the show.  
  
Devi: *Devilish smile* how about Spooky?  
  
Nny: *equally evil smile* Yeeeeeah..*picks up mike, and speaks into it* Hey, Moonchild, can you send Tenna over here?  
  
MC: *voice coming out of a speaker somewhere* Sure Nny. I'll send her right down.  
  
Tenna: *walks onto stage* What?  
  
Nny: *pulls out knives, advances on her*  
  
Tenna: Heeeeeeeeeey! What? *backs away*  
  
Nny: *leaps forward, grabs Spooky, sticks knives into him*  
  
Tenna: SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Devi: *cruel laughter*  
  
MC: *rushes onto stage* Nny! Spooky's a cast member too! Don't worry Tenna! We'll get him fixed (NO, I didn't mean THAT kind of fixed, sickos!). *rushes away with the now flat Spooky*  
  
Tenna: Why!? Why!? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!?????????????  
  
Devi: HA! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!  
  
Tenna: *runs off stage*  
  
Nny: *in wild laughter* HA! ^_^  
  
Devi: :D  
  
Nny: *sits in desk once more* Thanks for watching. It's been fun. See ya next time on Killing Time With Johnny C.  
  
*Fade back to original set*  
  
MC: OK...now for some reviewer...I mean audience questions. This time we've only got one. It's for Nny. Nny, now that you and Devi are back together, What you gonna do about Eddie asking to touch Devi's ass?  
  
Nny: *anger bristling* Oh yeah, I just kicked you before, didn't I? *gets up slowly*  
  
Eddie: What..what are you gonna do to me? Why?  
  
Nny: listen to me, you horny bastard! Devi and I are going out again! Touch her ass? I haven't gotten to do that! So YOU think that YOU can?????? YEAH RIGHT!!! GET READY TO DIE!!!!! GARG!!!  
  
Eddie: *trembling in fear* Agggggggg.....  
  
Devi: *sounding worried* Nny...don't do that...heeeeeeey...  
  
Nny: *pulls out two knives* Grrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
MC: *Pulls out her tranquilizer gun again* BAM!  
  
Nny: *sinks to the ground as a result to the fast acting sedative* woooo...  
  
MC: Phew. Hey, Eddie may be a horny bastard, but nobody's going to hurt each other right now, OK? *Picks Nny up off the ground, plops his limp body onto Devi's lap* Here Devi, take this.  
  
Devi: Uhh.thanks.  
  
MC: OK, now, time for another segment! It is time for..Spending Time With Happy Noodle Boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*Happy Noodle Boy stands up on his chair*  
  
HNB: Hear me, hear me, cat chow chump chowder!!!!!!!!! Bacon sausage bears oh my!!!!!!!!!! Bleep bleep! Run from the pink bean casserole!!!  
  
MC: Ooooookkkkkkkk. Now, let's move on. It's time for a new surprise segment, that I didn't even warn you about!!! Da da da....The News! With Devi and Tenna!!!!!!  
  
*Fade to new set. Devi and Tenna sit at a desk with 'News' painted on the front*  
  
Tenna: *to audience* Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Devi: Hello there.. Now, the news. *looks at one of the papers she is holding* The weather tonight is going to be cloudy, perfect for..killing people in dark alleys? And there are going to be....light showers of..blood??? And slightly soiled..knives? OK, who the FUCK wrote the weather report!!!!  
  
*off to the side we see Nny, smiling a little innocent smile*  
  
Nny: Hey Devi *waves*  
  
Devi: It was YOU Nny! Nny, please make weather reports that are true!!!  
  
Nny: They ARE true *silly grin*  
  
Devi: Nny, you promised you wouldn't kill!!!  
  
Nny: *sheepishly* OK, I'll do it right next time.  
  
Devi: GOOD!  
  
Tenna: OK, and in news, Spooky was hideously mutilated by SOMEBODY! He's still in repair!  
  
Nny: Hee.  
  
Devi: What else for news, Tenna?  
  
Tenna: Nothing that I can think of.  
  
Devi: OK, back to you Moonchild.  
  
MC: OK, now what? I don't know. I guess.the show's over. I knew I should have gotten the prime time location. So, goodnight. Don't forget to send your questions, comments, requests, and others! And don't forget to request someone to die for K.T.W.J.J. (Killing Time With Johnny C.) and request some new characters to come on the show too! Bye!  
  
*fade out on the characters all running around and screaming for no reason*  
  
*/*/*  
  
More soon. 


	6. Episode 6!

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Mwa ha ha ha ha!!!  
  
*/*/*  
  
*Fade in on Moonchild on the usual set, amid the flashing lights that read 'The JTHM Talk Show!!!!!!!'. The usual crew enters, and takes their usual seats. But who gives a shit?*  
  
MC: Good evening and welcome to...fuck I'm getting tired of saying this stupid little thing! You people know what you're watching by now! And you know all of us. I must say no more. We shall start off with a few little greetings. So, how are you guys doing tonight?  
  
Nny: Not so bad.  
  
Devi: Not bad, considering I'm in a room full of idiots.  
  
Tenna: Me and Spooky are just fine.  
  
Tess: I'm OK. Dillon's wasted though.  
  
Dillon: Meh.heh.  
  
Eddie: Can I touch your ass?  
  
HNB: Vicious monkey savages!!!!!!!!  
  
Squee: OK  
  
Shmee: *sits soundlessly*  
  
Spooky: Squeak squeak squeak.  
  
MC: That's great. I'd like to say a few things. I'd like to thank janey-the -suicidal maniac for personally offering to give up her life for K.T.W.J.C. I'd like to thank Kitty-N for offering to let me be a guest on DDC2C, and I'd like to add that I hope she'll let me put her on this show. And also a note to Lito Kid Skullington (AKA Kid), can I put you on here? Now, we've got a great, HUGE show for tonight. We've got a great guest here tonight. Folks, give it up for..Mr. Jhonen C. Vasquez!!!!!!!  
  
*insert sound of crazy fangirls screaming, and suddenly Jhonen appears in a chair.*  
  
Jhonen (JV): What? Where am I?  
  
MC: Hello, Mr. Vasquez. Welcome to the JTHM Talk Show!  
  
JV: JTHM? You mean.what? I wasn't aware that there was a JTHM talk show.  
  
MC: Well there IS!  
  
JV: *suddenly nervous* Who ARE you?  
  
MC: I am Moonchild *whips her purple hair against the back of her chair, then realizes she is still in reality and snaps back to attention* And you know who THESE people are? *gestures to the show crew*  
  
(note, in reality my hair is not purple, but it is for the show. Maybe soon it will be blue for the show. Yay!)  
  
JV: Oh my lord! Johnny and...tell me this is a nightmare.  
  
MC: Noppers. You're here to talk to us!  
  
JV: Get away from me!  
  
MC: Aw come on Jhonen. I don't bite.  
  
JV: *jumps to his feet, makes a run for it*  
  
MC: Lasso him, GIR!  
  
GIR (yes, from Invader Zim): *pulls out lasso* I want tacos! *throws lasso at Jhonen, misses, Jhonen gets away*  
  
MC: Shit. He was our only guest for tonight's show!!!!!! Damn! Why'd he have to get away? Ffffffffff...FUCK!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tenna: Hey calm down!!!!!  
  
MC: *still losing it* FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*the show crew shows enormous support for Moonchild by backing away from her in fear*  
  
MC: *suddenly snapping into calm* OK. I'm better. Now for reviewer questions! I'm trying to put the names of the people who asked the questions from now on. Here's one for everybody...from Kitty-N. She asks if you guys wanna disco dance with her.  
  
Nny: DISCO?  
  
Devi: Hey Nny, I thought you discoed.  
  
Nny: Do I?  
  
Tenna: Sure, we'll disco with ya Kitty! *very giddy* Spooky says so too!  
  
MC: OK, then it's settled, they will disco with Kitty. Now, we have no more reviewer questions currently, so let's go immediately to KTWJC, OK?  
  
*fade to the usual KTWJC (hey, notice a pun? You know, 'killing time' as in passing time, and it's also 'killing time' as in time for killing? Funny! Me just noticed!)  
  
Nny: Hello, and welcome to KTWJC. Tonight we've got a very..odd entry. It seems janey-the-suicidal maniac (in here I shall refer to her as jtsm, I hope that's OK) had voted for HERSELF, to be killed. Is she here?  
  
MC: Yeah! She's here! *thrusts jtsm onto the set*  
  
Nny: *smiling* Yes, this shall be fun!  
  
Devi: I can't watch.  
  
Nny: *pulls out a knife, and leaps at jtsm, and lands in front of her. He cuts her leg off, and lifts it high over her head, and begins to beat her with it. She falls to the ground under Nny's brutal beatings. When he is finished he stuffs the severed leg down her throat. She cannot breathe*  
  
Devi: Is it over yet?  
  
Nny: *with newfound calm and a slightly zen feeling about him* Ah, that's better. Now, I hope you enjoyed tonight's edition of KTWJC, and don't worry! Janey will be fine as soon as she's resurrected!  
  
*fade back to original scene. Moonchild has a cd player on the floor and is playing an Evanescence song on it and humming along*  
  
MC: Wake me up inside, wake me up inside. Call my name and....Oh, you're back so soon? Hi there. Now, it be time for Spending Time With Happy Noodle Boy, henceforth referred to as STWHNB.  
  
*Fade to another set. The background is that of a lovely cardboard forest infested with painted flower fairies and that such shit. HNB is standing on his crate*  
  
HNB: Grr...my macaroni and caviar empire is threatened by the Gorilla Federation! Die, devil bird (Ace Ventura quote!) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A thousand seas of frowny cereal doomyness! And that is why men do not wear bras! The pain and suffering undergone by those in the legion of morbid monkey shit is only matched by that undergone by my aunt Bob when she flew into the well and-holy shit it's David Letterman!!!!!!!!! PEACHES! But no cream? I pardon your farty sounds of kismet!!!!!! Hold on to your hats, boys and girls! It's the leech man himself, and his army of howler leeches! Holy shit, pigs can fly!! Are you my mom? And look, now I have added Amy Lee to my wall of trophies captured in the sewer? Where is Ben Moody? GACK! The toe jelly is chasing me mom! Help me! Goddamn those Keebler elves and their shitty magic cookies!!!! Fly far away mommy sue and pretend you don't hear what they are screaming into the depths of their pillows late at night!!! Taquito (remember people who know what I mean? From the Hot Chick?) ? What are you doing here? DADDY! Redrum! Poodle shit! It's daddy!  
  
Announcer: This has been STWHNB.  
  
*Fade back to original set. Moonchild is sitting, chatting with Nny and Spooky. She's playing 'Taco Flavored Kisses' off of South Park on her cd player*  
  
MC: So it hurt, huh? Oh, hi! You're back? What's up guys?  
  
Audience: *incoherent mumbling to answer her question*  
  
Devi: *still staring off into space as she was when the scene flickered on.*  
  
MC: So, now, let's just talk for a little bit. I'm gonna ask a few questions that reviewers didn't ask, but I just feel like asking them. Hey Devi, you and Nny got a date planned for tonight? Hmm?  
  
Devi: That's none of your business.  
  
MC: Oh come on I just wanted to know.  
  
Devi: Well, If you MUST know, we're going to the Eat or Die again.  
  
Tenna: You was kissing last time you went there...hee.  
  
Nny: Shut up Tenna.  
  
Devi: Yes, please do.  
  
Tenna: :P  
  
Moonchild: Please, stop the bickering!  
  
Nny: shut up!  
  
MC: HEY! This is MY show, Johnnypoo! I can kick you off if I want to.  
  
Nny: O_O  
  
MC: Yeah, so you better straighten your ass out, Nny.  
  
Nny: -_-  
  
MC: Ya know I wouldn't kick ya off anyways, Nny. We all wuv ya.  
  
Nny: How nice. *eyes twitches* -_o  
  
MC: (gets all starry eyed) *_* I can't believe I have my own show!!  
  
Tenna: I want a show too!  
  
Nny: Too bad!  
  
Tenna: Sheesh why are you being so pissy?  
  
Nny: o_O grrrrrrr....  
  
Devi: Uh-oh. Watch it Tenna! He's gonna!  
  
Tenna: He's not gonna..  
  
Devi: He's gonna!  
  
Nny: *pulls out a knife*  
  
Devi: Johnny C. you promised!  
  
Nny: Grrr..OK fine. *puts knife away and sits. Tenna sighs in relief that she has gotten to keep her life*  
  
MC: OK, now, let's move on to the JTHM Talk Show news!!!!!!  
  
*Fade in to a different set, with Devi and Tenna sitting at the same desk as last time, only now the front reads 'JTHMTSN', meaning, 'JTHM Talk Show News'*  
  
Devi: Hiya.  
  
Tenna: Hey there! Spooky says hi too!  
  
Devi: OK, first on the news, is 'coming up.' Tenna, would you like to tell the audience what's coming up?  
  
Tenna: *trying to act all serious* Certainly, Devi. *looks at her paper* Possibly in the future we may have two guests, Lito Kid Skullington and Kitty-N, straight to us from fanfiction.net! Also, we MAY have Jhonen Vasquez again, if we can successfully sedate him this time. We also may have Krik, the asshole who killed Nny, here for a visit. Not as a crew member though, because then nobody could vote for him for KTWJC. Devi, do you wanna tell about the other possible guests?  
  
Devi: Sure Tenna. We may also have Edgar Vargas here (deaths have no relevance on my show). And Dib Membrane of Invader Zim. It's not JTHM or IFS, but it IS a Jhonen Vasquez creation. We are working on getting Rosearik Rikki Simons, who helped color I Feel Sick, to come. But we are not sure about him yet. We will also have Sickness..oh my lord..come. Plus, Eric the 'vampire' and his friend...the bee mummy girl, Oblivia. And don't forget that walking dead guy I went out with. And we may also have...dun dun dun....Anne Gwish. Yes, the picture of evil! And we're also trying to pencil in the Doughboys and Rev. Meat. Mr. Samsa too. All of this we have planned to possibly happen in the future! Wow! Oh yeah, and I forgot Wobbly Headed Bob and Nailbunny.  
  
Tenna: That's a lot of guests! We could probably make it all the way into season two with that! . (It's 11:30 PM right now, and there a gorgeous, absolutely magnificent full moon out. I'm a little bit distracted right now.)  
  
Devi: So, do you have any more news on your little paper thing?  
  
Tenna: Nope.  
  
Devi: So I guess the news for tonight is over! Back to the regular show.  
  
*fade back to the regular set. Moonchild is listening to the cheeseburger song on her CD player.*  
  
MC: He said to her I'd like a cheeseburger, and I might like a milkshake as well...Oh hey there. Back again? Whoa! We're WAY past the show's time limit! I'm gonna get fined again! See ya! Goodnight y'all!!!!!!!  
  
*/*/*  
  
Long episode, huh? More soon. 


	7. Episode 7!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Mwa ha ha ha.  
  
*/*/*  
  
*Fade in on the usual JTHMTS set*  
  
MC: You know what you are watching!!!!! You know who I am!!! Now, let us fly right into the show and fill it with watermelon. We have a new guest tonight, and since we don't have ANY new questions, we shall just rush into this. Please welcome Kitty-N!  
  
*Kitty walks onto set*  
  
Devi: AHHHHH!! Not YOU! You're the one who always killed me!!!!  
  
Kitty: *grins evilly at Devi and sits in an empty chair*  
  
MC: Shut up Devi. Now, let us move on. SO, Kitty, you said you would come on here if you could glomp Nny. So, Nny, she is going to glomp you, kay?  
  
Nny: WHAT?  
  
Kitty: *stands up*  
  
Nny: Keep away from me!!!  
  
Kitty: *glomps Nny*  
  
Nny: *pulls out a knife, and proceeds to stab Kitty* DIE!  
  
Kitty: *Doesn't die...she can't die ;)*  
  
Nny: WHAT? Why won't she die?  
  
Kitty: *smiles* I can't die.  
  
Nny: AHHH!  
  
MC: NNY! How did you get knives? I took them away at the show start!!  
  
Nny: *evil grin* I got them back.  
  
MC: Murg! OK, now Kitty, thanks for coming tonight. It be hard to get guests.  
  
Kitty: Yeah sure.  
  
Tenna: HEY! Kitty, you said you'd disco with us!  
  
Squee: Yeah.  
  
Kitty: Let us disco  
  
*The crew starts to disco dance, with the exception of Devi and Nny*  
  
Nny: What are they doing?  
  
Devi: I don't know. It kinda looks like...fun. Let's try it.  
  
Nny: Yeah.  
  
*Nny and Devi start to disco with the others*  
  
Tenna: WOO!!!  
  
Spooky: SQUEAK! (yay)  
  
MC: *Suddenly stops dancing, starts singing Bring Me To Life again*  
  
Nny: WHAT is she doing?  
  
Devi: Singing....or dying. Can't tell which.  
  
Tenna: *still dancing* Hey, maybe we should cut into the first segment!  
  
MC: *stops singing * Yeah.  
  
*Cut to KTWJC*  
  
Nny: Hello there. I am...duh...Johnny C. You know what show this is. Now, for tonight, we have Kitty's sister Megan to be killed. OY Moonchild, is Megan here?  
  
MC: Hey Kitty, did you bring Megan?  
  
Kitty: Yup *walks onto KTWJC set and pulls out a little cardboard box. She pulls Megan out. She is all crumpled up. Kitty uncrumples her and sits her on her feet.* Bye. *Makes a run for it*  
  
Megan: where am I?  
  
Nny: You're on Killing Time With Johnny C. I'm Johnny C. You could call me Nny if you weren't going to die shortly.  
  
Megan: What? Huh?  
  
Nny: what we do on this show is we have our viewers vote for people for me to kill, and then I kill them. You have been voted for.  
  
Megan: I'm gonna DIE? Who voted for me?  
  
Nny: Classified. *whips out dynamite stick*  
  
Megan: AHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Nny: *sticks the dynamite stick in Megan's mouth and lights it*  
  
Megan: (muffled) don' oo 'is (don't do this)  
  
Fuse: Fzzzzzzzzzz..  
  
KABLOOEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Megan's head: *explodes, blood splatters the stage, along with hunks of pale gray brain matter and bits of Megan's skull.*  
  
Nny: This has been KTWJC. Goodnight.  
  
*Fade back to original set*  
  
MC: I wanna be bad, make it feel so good, got things on my mind....Oh hi there. I wasn't singing. *fades away from her reality for a moment* Watching me, wanting me, I can feel you pull me down... *snaps back* Hi! I wasn't singing again. Now, let's move on to another glorious segment..STWHNB!!!!  
  
*Fade to STWHNB set, this time there is a background of palm trees made of cardboard and painted plastic monkeys*  
  
HNB: *standing on crate* fear me and all my nippless wonder! Grr! The walnuts! Oh help me mommy!!!!! RUN AWAY JUNIE!!! Cake! Stuff my ears with mashed potatoes and call me Devi. I've got a new leash!!! Warg!!!! MUSHROOMS! Talk to my spoon!! Fear my dark nub and all it's powers!! Grrr! Kitty cat food is good for aunt Martha!!!!!! PEAS! Oh where is the magic whiteboard of truth, taken away from daddy and mommy of the swimming sausage people CHEESE! Wake up mister peeps!!! DIE!!!!!!! BUTT CHEESE!!!! Where is toothpaste!?  
  
*Fade back to regular JTHMTS set*  
  
MC: *tapping her toes* How can you see into my eyes like open doors, leading you down into my co- Oh hi again! Why do you people keep showing up??? GET AWAY! So, anyway, now, we're here with Kitty and the crew, and we have no questions from reviewers of audience...  
  
Guy: I have a question for Nny!  
  
MC: Shut the FUCK up! I said we have no questions! *brandishes a fresh cherry doom brainfreezy* Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.  
  
Nny: HEY! I want freezy!  
  
MC: Get your own! It's MY show!!!!!  
  
Nny: Gimme freezy! Grrrrrrrrness!!!!!! *leaps on Moonchild, and they engage in a vicious battle*  
  
MC: Grrrr!  
  
Nny: Grrrrr!!!!!!!  
  
MC: *pushes Nny off, therefore winning* HA!  
  
Nny: Garg.  
  
MC: *sips freezy* Hey Nny. *snaps fingers, another cherry doom freezy appears. Moonchild hands it to Nny*  
  
Nny: *eyes get all big and shiny* Oooooooooooh! Thanks! *takes freezy, slurps it* Mmmmmmmm.  
  
Dillon: Where's MY freezy?  
  
Eddie: Yeeeeeah. Where's mine?  
  
MC: *sighs, snaps fingers again, enough brainfreezys for everyone appear* Here.  
  
All: OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! *Sluuuuuuuuuurp*  
  
MC: OK now, let's see. I think it's time for the news.  
  
*Fade to JTHMTSN set*  
  
Devi: *with brainfreezy* Sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp.  
  
Tenna: Sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp.  
  
Devi: *looks up* HEY! Oh hi there. Now, for the news, real fast so I can get back to my fuckin freezy. OK, in news, we have Kitty-N here for a guest!!! YAY!  
  
Tenna: Yeah, Kitty is fun! Now, also, we have a new segment coming soon to the show...whenever Moonchild decides to put it on. It's called 'Stuffs With Devi D.' It is randomness!  
  
Devi: Yeah! Hee hee! And also, soon we have something else coming to the show for one time only that Moonchild won't even tell US about it!  
  
Tenna: yeah! Top secret! So cool!  
  
Devi: yeah. That's it. Now get lost so I can slurp my freezy! Sluuuuuuuuuuuuuurp!  
  
*fade to JTHMTS set*  
  
MC: hello. Just me and Kitty here, so we can tell you about the new top secret next episode!  
  
Kitty: yeah, it be secretness!  
  
MC: OK, next episode, coming soon, is behind the scenes of JTHMTS! I drink invisible juice, and then go around invisible with my spy camera! I'm telling the crew that I'm gonna be an hour late, but to stay at the studio just in case I do show up on time. And you get to see what the characters do when you're not around.  
  
Kitty: Yes it is going to be fun. I bet Dillon picks his nose. *retches*  
  
MC: Well, I guess we're out of time for tonight, so bye!  
  
Kitty: Night people!!  
  
Nny: Walks onto set with Devi, snaps a radio on. Music comes on. They start break dancing*  
  
*/*/*  
  
Look for the behind the scenes episode next, only on JTHMTS! YAY! 


	8. Behind the Scenes Episode!

Disclaimer: I own nothing...except for my very own talk show!  
  
*/*/*  
  
*fade to Moonchild standing outside the studio, holding a spy camera*  
  
MC: Hello. Welcome to the JTHM Talk show again. Not much going on here. Welcome to the behind the scenes episode. It's mucho interesting, my children. I'd like to thank Kitty for showing up on the last episode, and I add that she will most definitely be invited back if she wants to be. Now, I'm gonna go invisible, and you can go behind the scenes.  
  
*goes invisible, enters. Ahead is Tenna and Spooky*  
  
MC: Ooh, let's go spy on them! *moves in closer*  
  
Tenna: Yay Spooky! It's your birthday tomorrow. We're gonna throw a party!!! And maybe we'll have cake!!!  
  
MC: Booooooring. Where's the humiliation??? *moves on.*  
  
*A little ways ahead we see Devi and Nny*  
  
MC: Hmmmmmmmmmm.  
  
Nny: Are you sure about this? It's so stupid!  
  
Devi: Oh come on it's fun!  
  
Nny: Ok then. *pulls out CD player, starts some music.*  
  
MC: Huh?  
  
Devi and Nny: *start waltzing*  
  
MC: Snnnch, giggle.  
  
Devi: Huh? Who said that?  
  
Nny: I dunno. *shrugs*  
  
Devi: I swear, I heard something.  
  
Nny: FUCK, there's somebody in here.  
  
MC: Heh heh.  
  
Devi: *glances around* Who is it, huh?  
  
Nny: *stops waltzing* Hmmmmmmm...I dunno. Creepy. Someone's definitely here.  
  
MC: It's fun messing with their heads *in a whisper*  
  
Devi: DID you hear that?  
  
Nny: Yeah! Who- *glances around wildly*  
  
MC: Hee hee.  
  
Devi: let's get out of here!!!  
  
Nny: YEAH!  
  
*they run*  
  
MC: Heh. Ha. That's funny.  
  
*walks to a different spot. Dillon is standing in front of a mirror. He is wearing blue dinosaur footy pj's*  
  
MC: Heh.  
  
Dillon: Muuurg. *picks his nose*  
  
MC: *retch* Kitty was right. NASTY, he does pick his nose.  
  
Dillon: Muuuuuurg! *walks off*  
  
MC: Oh that's real nice.  
  
*We see Tess, walking onto the stage, wearing a bee suit*  
  
Tess: OK, who the FUCK put this in my dressing room?  
  
Nny: *shouting off set* I dunno!!!!  
  
Tess: Johnny you little fuck!  
  
Nny: Hey! *pulls out knives*  
  
Tess: Bring it on! *pulls out squirty cheese*  
  
Nny: Heh.  
  
Tess: Whatever.  
  
Nny: *leaps at her, brandishing the knives*  
  
Tess: *ducks, squirts his face with the squirty cheese*  
  
Nny: AHHHHHH! *in immense pain*  
  
Tess: HA!  
  
Nny: *falls to the ground, writhing and covering his eyes*  
  
Tess: *looks at him funny, and then walks away, leaving Nny still writhing*  
  
Nny: MY EYES! MY EYES!!!  
  
Devi: *walks onto set* Nny? What the fuck are you doing?  
  
Nny: *weakly* she..Tess..the cheese-wizz....agggggggggg  
  
Devi: WHAT?  
  
Nny: Tess sprayed me with cheese-wizz!  
  
Devi: SO?  
  
Nny: It hurts my eyeballs!  
  
Devi: *rolls her eyes* Sheesh.  
  
Nny: HEY! It wouldn't be funny for you?  
  
Devi: Oh come on Nny don't be a baby!  
  
Nny: Devi! Don't say those things!  
  
Devi: *pulls out her secret box of froot loops* Here. Have some cereal. It'll help you forget about the pain.  
  
Nny: *eyes shiny* Froot loops?  
  
Devi: Yes. *wrenches his mouth open, pours in some rainbow colored loops*  
  
Nny: Ahhhhh. *contented*  
  
Devi: That's better. So did you ever figure out who that mysterious voice was?  
  
Nny: No. Did you?  
  
Devi: Nope.  
  
MC: Ok, this is getting boring *leaves*  
  
*a little later on, we see Eddie*  
  
MC: Fuck! What the hell is he DOING? He's not! Oh he is! Shit! My poor eyes! He's screwing the wall!!! Urg!  
  
Eddie: Muff..huff  
  
MC: NASTY! *runs for her life*  
  
*a little ways away we see Devi, Nny, and Tenna sitting in chairs and eating Chinese noodles and pistachios*  
  
Tenna: Mmmmmmmmmm...  
  
Nny: *also slurping on a freezy* Yum.  
  
Devi: Good noodles. *chew chew chew*  
  
Nny: *suddenly jumping up* GADZOOKS! It's a monkey!  
  
Monkey: Hoo hoo ha ha!  
  
Devi: AH! Catch it!!  
  
Tenna: keep it away from Spooky!!  
  
Nny: *dives after the monkey, traps it under someone's top hat* HA!  
  
Monkey: Oo ooh ah!  
  
Devi: TA HA!  
  
Nny: *dumps monkey out and grinds it to a bloody mess under his boot* It's dead.  
  
Tenna: YAY! It didn't get Spooky!!!!!  
  
MC: OK, this is getting weird. *moves on*  
  
*A little ways away, we see HNB, talking to the wall*  
  
HNB: Grrrrrr! How dare you?! GRRRRR!!!!!  
  
MC: HEY NOODLY BOY!  
  
HNB: Leeches? *glances around*  
  
MC: HEE.  
  
HNB: MARTHA!  
  
MC: *runs*  
  
*soon we are able to see Squee, sitting and talking to a spooky alien*  
  
Squee: please Mr. Scary alien man! Don't eat me!  
  
Alien: I have to eat you little boy! Beware!  
  
MC: *jumps on alien, shoves a bucket over its head* DIE! RUUUUUUUUN SQUEEGEE!!!!!!!  
  
Squee: SQUEEEE! *runs away*  
  
MC: *leaps off of alien and runs for her life again*  
  
Alien: *chasing after her; he can see invisible people* GRRRRR!!!  
  
MC: AHHHHHHH! Well, I'm being chased by a spooky alien, so I'm gonna go! Seeeeeeee ya next episode amigos!!!!!  
  
*fade out on Moonchild still being chased by a spooky alien all around the studio*  
  
MC: *in the distance* HEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!  
  
*/*/*  
  
More soon. Next episode will be a regular episode. Don't forget to keep your questions and requests coming! 


	9. Episode 8!

Disclaimer: I don't fucking own anything.  
  
I am in a really fucking bad mood. I just tried to drown myself in the sink. Just kidding. But I AM really pissed. My comp. Screwed up so I have to write this whole fucking episode over! I hate everything! FUCK!!!!  
  
*/*/*  
  
*fade in to JTHMTS news set*  
  
Devi: hello. This morning we are starting off with the news. First we have fanfic news. As soon as Moonchild finishes her JTHM fics 'Bullet With Butterfly Wings', 'The Rose', and 'My December', she is starting three more. One entitled 'Tables Turned', one that is her version of the JTHM movie, and one that is currently untitled. Please ask her for the summary so you can help her with the title. If you want to read Moonchild's FIRST ever JTHM fic 'Johnny's Downfall', do so soon because soon it will be taken off of ff.net, though it is not finished. Tenna, please continue the fanfic news.  
  
Tenna: Okee dokee. Well, anyway, there are some ff.net fics that Moonchild feels are the best she's ever read, so we're going to give you the URLs for them, OK? OK. Here we are. Copy and pate the URLs into the search bar go read them.  
  
'Squee Gets A Babysitter', by ReiNny.  
  
'Dear Heart' by Kitty-N.   
  
'Johnny's Return' by ReiNny.  
  
'Enough To Stay', by Sparkle Itamashii.  
  
'A Yearning' by LittleMaggie,  
  
'The Ghost Slips Away', by StrangeEmily13.  
  
AND 'Ignorance Is A Burden' by Jezebelle.  
  
Read these stories! They are awesome!!!!!!  
  
Devi: And now, for some irrelevant news, Evanescence is coming to Moonchild's town of August 9! That's right! In her opinion they're the world's best band along with Disturbed and Linkin Park. Woo! Hey wait a sec. Why am I telling you this? Moonchild, you idiot, no one cares about Evanescence!!!!!!!!  
  
*Devi is attacked by angry Amy Lee and Ben Moody fans*  
  
Devi: HELP!  
  
Amy Lee: *in front of a tv in some random place in the world* What's going on?  
  
Tenna: Poor Devi. Now, let's go to the real show!!!!!!  
  
*fade to regular set*  
  
MC: Hello. Welcome back. And now, I will reply to all the reviews I've gotten so far since the last episode. Forgive me if I miss any. You can just read the reply to the review you sent if you sent one and skip the rest. This part has no importance. I just wanted to have a chance to reply to all my reviewers. The first review is from Spork Master G. Spork Master says:  
  
Yay! I want Anne Gwish to be on the show, she makes me laugh for she is shallow. So very shallow. And yet, my sister reminds me of her at times. O! QUESTION TO NNY : How much would could a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck COULD chuck wood?? That's the real question here. HEY! How come the other writer people get to be on? How come I can't be on? Hm?! boop :P  
  
MC: Well, your wish has been granted. You are appearing in the next episode! And your question is going to be answered next, when the characters answer questions! Yay! And Anne Gwish will appear soon. I hate her. She is evil!  
  
Nny: I don't understand what's going on!  
  
Random audience person: You're stupid Johnny!  
  
MC: *flies into defensive mode* Don't you DARE insult Nny!!!! Sic that audience person, Lance! *throws her pink squeaky hippo at the random audience person*  
  
Random audience person: AHHHH!!!!  
  
MC: it's OK Nny. Nobody insults Johnny C. and lives. OK, next review. It is from ReiNny.  
  
'you can kill my fanchar, Jennifer, she is about to go psycho on Devi in my fic 'squee gets a baby sitter, she is also Squee's baby sitter, she dosn't like Devi very much... oh and she smokes, and johnny dosn't like that, add her whether you kill her or not :P i'm added you to my favirot list'  
  
MC: Yay! I will take what you said to mind, yay! Jennifer shall appear as soon as I get around to it! Next review is from GothicAngel.  
  
'Hehehe! This was ultra-funny! I like the part where Devi and NNy are waltzing. I like the part with Tenna and the bee suit too."JOHNNY YOU LITTLE FUCK!"And then the cheese-whiz! *falls over laughing* Heh... Actually.. I like all of it. This is all really funny! Hope you continue writing soon. I like to get a good laugh every once in a while.~*~ GothicAngel ~*~'  
  
MC: Thanks GothicAngel. I'm glad you saw the humor in my demented writing! ^_^ I am quite glad you liked it. Nothing makes me happier than when people can read my fics without dying. Yay! Now, the next review is from Ebony River.  
  
'the people arent in character, NNy doesnt really act like this and Devi wouldnt have forgiven him. damn it. oh well. good story. charnogs. yeah. ARGH! FUCKING TOASTER! ok, i wanna ask HNB: if jello that has fruit in it takes over the world what will happen to all the sharks with hidden scales? that always bothered me...With all due respect, Ebony'  
  
MC: OK Ebony, I've got to explain some stuff about the fic, huh? I didn't see much OOCness in Nny...OK, yeah I did. But I'm perfectly at liberty to make him act however I want in my show. That's the beauty of having a show where I can speak my mind. And how can you be sure Devi wouldn't have forgiven him? She might have. No one knows for sure but Jhonen..unless you are Jhonen in which case you know and I am sorry for saying you didn't know. And also, I will make sure your question for HNB is answered. Now, the next review is another from Ebony River. Wow, you've been busy reviewing, huh?  
  
'argh!! and another thing that is bothering me is that NNy's killing is really unorigonal. he is really creative with his torture, because one of the greatest human fears is pain, and he takes advantage of that. i do too, but thats besides the fact. seriously though, please get more creative with the way NNy kills. With all due respect, Ebony'  
  
MC: OK, I have things to say. If Nny's killing in here was unoriginal, it is your opinion, not mine. You can think whatever you want. It's none of my business. And maybe some people would find the killing original. I don't know, I am not a homicidal maniac. The only person I've ever come close to killing is myself, but that's off the subject. Digression is fun. I love getting off the subject. And even though I know I should, I am not going to change Nny's killing style just because of one opinion. I am writing this show for myself and just for fun. No one else is a factor. And the next review is..wow, another from Ebony River.  
  
'you're getting more creative with the killings, but not enough so it is like the real comic series. MORE HAPPY NOODLE BOY!! i gotta vote for KTWJC: i want the evil moose that HNB thought was a spy car to die! argh! fucking toaster. goddamn it, and also make sure that HNB gets those fucking hands off of his wrists. they make him unhappy.With all due respect, Ebony'  
  
MC: The first thing I want to do is thank you for reviewing three times. That's really cool. And I want to thank you for speaking your mind about this. It really does help me as an author to get constructive criticism. Well, I'm really glad that you think the killing is more creative. I am glad it's not as creative as in the comic series. I'd like to make some things clear about this point. I am not Jhonen Vasquez. I do not own the series. So I don't have the same exact style. And I'm not one of those people who wants to be liked because they can write exactly like JV and making the killing JUST like the comics. I am me, not Jhonen. And KTWJC is just a stupid little TV segment. I'm not trying to write a novel with it. It's not supposed to be good. AND, maybe Nny's not being too creative because he doesn't have anything against the people he's killing in his segment. When he is angry or provoked, that's when he really does the killings in a very interesting way. I am striving to bring everything I write AWAY from the comic series style, and write with MY style. It's not the comics, it fan fiction. Now, that's all the reviews, so here we go with the character questions.  
  
Tess: FINALLY!!!!  
  
MC: Shut up Tess. Now, the first question is for Nny: QUESTION TO NNY : How much would could a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck COULD chuck wood??  
  
Nny: Er..a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as it felt like chucking if it could chuck wood. Maybe they can chuck wood though, and we just don't know it.  
  
MC: Um...interesting answer Nny. Now, the next question is for Noodle Boy: if jello that has fruit in it takes over the world what will happen to all the sharks with hidden scales? that always bothered me.  
  
HNB: Fucking cow cheese! Desist with the magic feather boa and the high heeled monkey face dog pancake!!! SQUEAK like the goldfish crackers you are with the black monkey face!!! TASTE THE SHELLS!  
  
MC: Um........OK? Now, a question for..that's all the questions. Oh great. Now, um..let's go to STWHNB.  
  
*fade to STWHNB set*  
  
HNB: Garg! Flying fruit jungle banana! The hands!!! They are so cold! Get the fuck away from my spy glass! MEEP! Chika lika lika!!!!!!!!!!! BIKER MOOSE SURPRISE FOR THE LITTLE MOUSE GIRL'S FACE! Who are you Bill? Get away orange juice fresh lumpy raccoon says that there is dryer lint in the shining fault mint gum of the bullet shell of the red coat in......TEETER TOTTER! I see ink!!!!  
  
Narrarator: This has been STWHNB.  
  
*Fade back to regular set*  
  
MC: Hello, and good evening. Now, let's cut to KTWJC, cause I can't think of anything else to say.  
  
*Cut to KTWJC set*  
  
Nny: Hi there. This is KTWJC. And now, my victim today is...* checks paper* ReiNny's fan character Jennifer!!!!  
  
*Jennifer walks onto the set*  
  
Jennifer: Hi Johnny. What's going on? *sees sign* Killing time, huh?  
  
Nny: *maniacally* Yes. *pulls out a scythe, comes near her*  
  
Jennifer: Hey. Let's reconsider...ah...  
  
*Nny swings the scythe, slicing Jennifer's head off. It flies off to the side amid a shower of bright red blood, ooh, pretty. Nny picks up the severed head and sits it on the desk.*  
  
Nny: This was KTWJC. Have a nice day.  
  
*Fade back to JTHMTS set*  
  
MC: *singing 'Everything About You' by Three Days Grace* I, hate, everything about you. Why, do I love you. I, hate, everything about you. Why, do I love you? *switches back to speaking mode* Oh, hello. Welcome back. And now, sadly, it is time yet again to end another episode. See ya soon! Next episode is up as soon as you give me enough reviews to work with. Thanks much! Bye! *waving*  
  
*/*/*  
  
Beep. 


End file.
